Legion (dissolvedego) wrote,
Legion
dissolvedego

Fuck you, extroverts!

You know the introvert care sheet that's been floating around the internet for years? Well, someone made this:





I have a lot to say in response to this. First of all, extroverts don't need a 'care sheet'. No one ever 'suffered' from extroversion. When you're an extrovert interacting with people is effortless and easy, you get free energy from everyone around you. You don't need a list for people to understand and care for you, because you are transparent and you express your needs and wants CONSTANTLY to everyone you meet. Introverts have NO TROUBLE whatsoever understanding extroverts.

It's not so much a list of needs as a self-indulgent list of things they'd enjoy, such as item number two: 'COMPLIMENT THEM IN THE COMPANY OF OTHERS'. And number five, 'THOUGHTFULLY SURPRISE THEM'. What kind of attention whoring asshole asks for compliments and surprises? You don't 'need' those things. Fuck you. The only reason this care sheet exists is because extroverts saw the introvert care sheet and were bothered that the attention wasn't on them, so they made their own... with brighter colors!

And the only reason extroverts fail to understand introverts is that their self-absorbed, vampire asses were too busy harvesting our energy and making sure every conversation revolved around them to give a shit and ask.



So, if I may... I'd like to make my own list:


1. TALK about THEM, not you.

2. UNDERSTAND their need for others to think that they are BETTER than you.

3. ALLOW them to TAKE CREDIT for things you did.

4. SHOWER them with GIFTS they not-so-subtly hint about.

5. PRETEND YOU DON'T MIND when they show up at your house unannounced with guests.

6. DO favors for them. DO NOT expect repayment.

7. BE ENTERTAINING so they don't get BORED with you and LEAVE. Try making LOUD NOISES and presenting SHINY objects with BRIGHT COLORS.

8. SMILE and ROLL WITH IT when they fill in the quiet gaps in conversation or interrupt you with VAIN, SELF-SERVING ASSUMPTIONS about what you are thinking and feeling.

9. PATRONIZE their compulsive need for ATTENTION and APPROVAL.

10. LET THEM SHINE (with YOUR energy, sort of like you would if they hadn't TAKEN IT FROM YOU).



It's like if straight people published information to help gay people understand them.

GAY PEOPLE: We want equal rights, respect and acceptance.
STRAIGHT PEOPLE: We want, uh... free pizza! Yeah. And boobs!


YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE UNDERSTANDING, you spoiled, over-privileged fucks. Shut your goddamn mouth for once in your life.


Sincerely,
An Introvert
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